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I am not sure how I am supposed to survive this.  Today, his lawyer visited him at the facility, because he has a hearing coming up on Thursday to determine whether or not they will release him on SIST (super parole).  His lawyer is not working for him, so they are pushing for it.  Since he cannot live with me, where the hell is he going to go?  I can't afford to move right now, even a little bit.  The City of Auburn seems to be doing their damndest to make sure there is no way we can live there, anywhere.  Every address I have checked isn't far enough away from anything.  I feel like I am going to lose it right now.  Are they going to declare him homeless?  Are they going to violate him immediately simply because he has no where to go?  How the hell is this supposed to work? SIST is set up for these guys to fail, so even if he comes home, and we get some time together, chances are we will be separated again shortly after he comes home.  I simply have no words to describe how helpless and hopeless I feel right now.  These people working for our great state seem to be controlling every single aspect of what is going to happen, and not a thing we do or say is going to matter.  All the research I have done seems like a waste.  All the reaching out I have done seems all for nothing.  When are we going to catch a break in this?

We will know by Thursday whether or not this is going to actually happen, I think, and my thoughts are that he is going to be sent back to Ontario County to live in a shelter or halfway house.  Or he will be stuck in the hospital indefinitely until I can find a place where he can legally reside.  I am sad, and defeated, and feel like giving up.  No one seems to know what to do, and I don't either.  Is there anyone out there who can help us?  I just can't deal with this anymore.  I have tried and tried, and tried, and it gets us nowhere.  And these State assholes want what they want, and he is still going to be punished for what he has already paid for.

Help.  Fucking help!!!